Going to Extremes
The events of January 6th are obviously at top of mind for many this week. There is certainly blame to go around but, to me, there is something that we have forgotten to talk about.
Extremism.
I am not just talking about terrorism or politics, I am thinking more everyday extremism and how it affects the way we communicate. More importantly, how we model and teach young people to communicate.
Remember, nothing is healthy in extremes…exercising, sleeping, donuts, religion, and especially opinions!
Many people are afraid to talk to their children about political events. I agree that there are some children who, developmentally, cannot fully grasp what is happening within some of these events. However, middle and high schoolers are seeing these events unravel on TikTok, SnapChat, and Instagram without context and/or understanding. This is the time to have conversations about where information comes from and how to challenge and vet sources. Further, this is the PERFECT time to discuss how to have civil discussions about anything! Your children, students, and peers CAN have discussions about challenging subjects. If they cannot have that conversation without shouting, name calling, and anger, then Houston, we have a problem.
In challenging discussions, listening and asking questions are the key. Active listening is listening in which when one person is talking, the other is listening without interrupting, with full attention (no phones/tv for anyone), and nonverbals to show that you are listening. Nonverbals include nodding, leaning in, and eye contact. When the speaker is finished, the listener then asks clarifying questions or summarizes briefly what the speaker has said. (If someone can’t summarize what the other just said, they are simply thinking of what they are going to say next instead of listening. This will not go well, maybe try to discuss again at a later date.) Then, everyone switches roles and so on and so forth. Easy Peasy!
Please don’t underestimate young people. It is a mistake. Now is the time to have these conversations. If they challenge you and ask questions, that is awesome! That means that you have engaged them enough to have further conversation. Listen to them and then together research information on a few different news outlets. At the end, they will come out of your discussion with research skills, skills on how to have a respectful discourse, and most importantly pride in themselves and in you.
After all, isn’t that what we want for the future of our country?
Photo Credit: Photo by Jason Rosewell on Unsplash
Active Listening Resources:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/in-it-together/202006/active-listening-skills